Self Awareness of patterns surrounding Self Sabotage is a topic that arises often in my work with clients. So, today, I’ve decided to share an excerpt from my latest BestSelling book, TREASURES OF HEAVEN: LESSONS FROM THE OTHER SIDE, on this very subject:
“In this journey, we are intended to take responsibility for our creations. We are intended to claim creative control. When this happens, we are empowered. We stop blaming other people or external circumstances for our feelings and reactions. With awareness, we remember (from our soul’s broader perspective) that nothing outside us holds the power to activate negative emotion or illicit fear within us. This realization offers the greatest sense of liberation available to us as human beings.
Self- knowledge, self-regulation and self-direction are the foundational structure of our ever-expanding spiritual development. Self awareness is the primary building block in generating physical, mental, emotional and spiritual harmony. Our experiences are simply reflections of what we choose to focus on, so we gain immense personal power through heightened awareness. The more self-aware we become, the more we deliberately choose to be proactive instead of reactive. We recommit to positive change by shedding our unconscious self-sabotaging behaviors!
Transcending self-sabotaging behaviors is the primary goal of expansion. But, it requires an awareness of what those behaviors ARE to move beyond them. The following list includes the primary signs of Self-Sabotaging Behaviors. Notice if you experience of any them.
1. Focusing on what is not working or not right.
This serves as a roadblock because anytime you think or speak about what is going wrong, you feel frustrated and dissatisfied. This can squash your innate sense of inspiration, purpose and ambition.
Action step: Ask yourself a new question: “What’s going right?” or “What IS working?” Keep an evidence journal and each day write down everything, I do mean everything, that is working. Change your focus.
2. Feeling stuck in fear.
When you worry about the future or fret about potential negative outcomes, you become paralyzed. From this space, you take no action.
Action step: Place you attention in the present moment without bringing your old stories and fears into your current situation. You simply cannot control other people or outside situations. All you can control is your own vibration. Relax, breathe and trust that the Universe will take care of you – it always does.
3. Feeling you have no value.
Do you forget all your accomplishments and or disregard your unique abilities? If you stew and obsess about the past or your lack of success or lack of goal achievement, you’ll be stuck in a debilitating state of lack. If you often criticize yourself or can’t accept compliments, it’s time to bump of the self-love meter.
Action step: When you hear your that gremlin voice inside yourself reminding you of what you haven’t done right or well, turn down the volume and turn UP the volume to your true self — the one that knows the TRUTH about who you are and how you add immense value to the world. Acknowledge at least 5 things every day that you did well. Compliment yourself on something you did that you feel good about. Celebrate the small successes
4. Comparing yourself to others.
Do you constantly compare yourself to others and then feel negatively about yourself when compared to them? Comparison doesn’t motivate us to do more or be better, instead it makes us feel we’ll never be good enough and we aren’t right now.
Action step: When you find yourself back in comparison game, notice how similar you are with the other person vs. what is different. Create a list of 25 adjectives that describe your greatness. Whenever you notice yourself in a comparison mode, think of some of the adjectives that describe YOU.
5. Meeting goals and then sabotaging your success.
Do you not believe that you deserve to accomplish goals and receive the fruits of your labor? What is the underlying story you tell yourself? Do you feel unworthy of having success?
Action step: List 5 recent accomplishments. How did they make you feel?
6. Chasing away relationships.
Do you always feel something is missing in your relationships or find fault with the other person? Perhaps you are afraid of intimacy. Underneath this is usually a fear of abandonment or exposure that causes you to distance yourself from others.
Action step: Create a list of the qualities you value in a relationship and the qualities you want to attract in your partners. Cultivate those qualities in yourself! Focus on what you want instead of what you fear.
By developing greater awareness, you will learn to pause before you speak and act. You learn to rein in your impulsiveness to create your life on purpose! With awareness, you clearly define your intentions and identify your desires, paving the way for a rewarding, fulfilling life! Personal responsibility and accountability empower you to create the future of your dreams, moment by moment, instead of waiting for “fate” to determine your experiences. Randomness, determinism and coincidence become obsolete concepts.Self-awareness opens the door to unlimited power.”
Will you step inside? Much love to you ALL ~ Cari
